


The First Times

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Kawa AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 02:23:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1370419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of firsts for Dean and Richard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Times

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/4307.html?thread=11681235#t11681235) prompt.

Date -1

Richard walked through the gallery, letting the pictures drown out the fight with his father and calm him. There was something about this specific artist’s photographs that relaxed him, and Richard was  lost in all the details. It helped that the gallery was quiet and uncrowded, with people mostly ignoring everyone around them.

“So I hear you’re my biggest fan,” a voice said next to him and Richard started. He hadn’t even noticed him walk up. The short blond next to him grinned and held out his hand to shake. “Dean O’Gorman.”

“Richard Armitage,” he replied, off balance. “Your biggest fan?” he managed to ask. Dean smiled at him, and Richard belatedly noticed he had dimples.

“They tell me you’re here every day, and you always wander around my photos.”

Richard felt his face heat at the statement even though it wasn’t said meanly, but he nodded.

“They’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” he said, beaming and Richard was winded at how beautiful his smile was.

~

Date 1

Dean grabbed his hand easily, stopping him from clenching and relaxing it over and over. Richard entwined their fingers and brought it up to kiss his knuckles, Dean turning away to hide his blush, his dimple giving away that he was also smiling.

“Why are you so nervous?” he asked, changing the subject. “I know you’re not star struck.”

“I could be. You are my favorite photographer after all,” he said teasingly. Dean’s grin got wider and he pushed at his shoulder with his free hand. He dropped the subject though, and Richard took the rest of the taxi ride to push away his own worries. He knew what his family expected of him, and he knew Dean didn’t really fit in with their plan.

It didn’t have to be serious though. He could casually date Dean, and then eventually move on and find a woman to pretend to be in love with and have 2.5 kids with. For now, though, he’d let himself have this, and he noted with a smile that Dean had been idly rubbing his thumb over Richard’s knuckles while they both stared out the windows.

~

Date 5

Richard lifted Dean easily, pressing him into the wall and Dean kissed him harder in what Richard assumed was approval.

“Richard,” he moaned breathily, and he thrust against him at the sound.

“What do you want?” he asked, smearing kisses across his jaw. “Tell me,” and Dean shuddered in his arms at how deep his voice got. He was pretty sure he felt it more than he heard it.

“Fuck me,” he replied the minute he could breathe. “Fuck me fuck me fuck me.” Richard pulled away from the wall and moved to the bed, still mouthing at Dean’s soft skin. When his legs hit the bed, he dropped Dean onto it, loving how Dean smiled when he bounced slightly. He scooted up the bed and then held his arms open.

“Get over here,” he demanded, a mischievous smirk on his face, and Richard was only too happy to oblige.

~

Date 15

“I love you,” Richard blurted out, and Dean was confused at the panicked look on his face. Dean hadn’t said it yet, but he knew it was just a matter of time. Richard blinked rapidly as his breath came shorter and shorter, putting his head in his hands, and Dean moved down the bed to rub at his back.

“Richard, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t--” He rubbed his hands down his face. “My family still expects me to settle down with a nice woman and have kids,” he let out in a rush, and Dean stiffened. “I thought I could pretend, before. I thought I would be fine, that I could just pretend I had found a woman I was in love with.” The look on his face was miserable, and Dean kept stroking and let him continue. “I figured I wouldn’t fall in love before then, and it wouldn’t be an issue, and I could just pretend.”

Dean didn’t know what to say, so he curled around him and hugged him close, and he tried not to think when Richard hugged him back tightly and buried his face in the nape of Dean’s neck.

~

Date 16

He nuzzled into his hair as he pulled him close, and Dean went easily, curling into his chest, their skin still tingling from sex. He pressed fluttering kisses to Richard’s neck, and he stretched his neck out for more of the soft touches. This was the first time they had been together since Richard’s confession weeks before, and he was torn up by how relieved he was to be holding Dean again. This wasn’t a part of his plan, of his father’s plan, and it was scary how easily just being with Dean made him forget that, even if it was only for a little while.

Dean was nuzzling into his neck now, lazy and easy, and he brought his hands up from Richard’s waist to rub at his shoulders.

“Stay the night,” he said, and Richard couldn’t help but notice the nervousness in his voice. He kept his face buried in Richard’s neck, his shoulders tensing up until Richard nodded.

“Okay,” he said, and slowly, Dean went lax against him, though he didn’t let him go.

~

Date 19

He forgot himself. He forgot to be careful and now it was all falling apart. Dean had noticed him tense next to him, and he looked confused when Richard dropped his hand like it was burning him. Dean followed his line of sight and realization dawned on his face. The man looked so much like Richard it was impossible not to figure out who that was.

He walked to him quickly, face pale and shoulders looking like they were made of stone. His father didn’t move. He only stared, lips thin in what Richard easily recognized as anger.

“Dad--” but his father walked away before he could get another word out.

~

Date 20

“I can’t do this anymore.” He avoided looking Dean in the eye, needing to do this and knowing that if he saw Dean’s face, it might weaken his resolve. “This is--this was never a good idea.”

“I understand,” Dean replied quietly. Richard’s head snapped up, but he saw no anger on Dean’s face, just resignation.

“I’m sorry,” he added, and Dean made a small, pained noise, his eyes shining with what Richard realized were tears before Dean turned to the side. He made an aborted step towards Dean, to hold him, to wipe the tears away, he didn’t know, but he stopped himself before he could. He couldn’t do any of those things anymore. Luckily, Dean didn’t seem to notice, too focused on wiping at his face as if he could make the tears stop that way. “Dean--”

“Please stop.” Richard’s mouth clicked shut, guilt coursing through him at the shakiness of Dean’s voice. “I understand, so please stop.”

Richard nodded. “Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean nodded and tried to smile, but it came out pained, instead.

~

0

Richard was miserable, and he knew it was obvious regardless of his attempts to hide it. His father was too relieved that he had seen the “error of his ways” to care, and his mother was still unaware of why Richard and his father were so tense around each other. Still, even though he had to keep the relationship hidden, not hiding had made him happy—happier than he knew was possible—and part of him wanted his mother to know that.

The other part of him was terrified that he’d lose his mother the same way he had lost his father, despite his father pretending that everything was the same. Even though Richard knew before that his parents probably wouldn’t accept him, he could at least pretend that they would be happy for him, that they would love him anyway, that they would at least try.

Even then he thought that maybe if he listened to his father, if he gave up Dean, then maybe things would be normal again and he could still pretend his parents would accept him one day.

Instead, his father pushed more women at him with more determination, daughters from wealthy families that would merge well with their company. Now he no longer even had the choice of finding a woman who would make a good friend for him to marry.

~

0

He was sitting quietly in the corner, nursing his drink and just observing. He didn’t feel like dancing just yet. Currently, he just wanted to enjoy being there. This was his first time at a gay bar. He had always avoided them before, always thinking that just by being there it would give him away no matter what he said or how he denied it. Now, though, now…

It was more painful than he had expected. He and his father were almost comfortable around each other again, and that hurt more than he thought it would. His father had finally managed to forget, or at least force himself to pretend it had never happened, and Richard knew that was the only reason they were even approaching their old relationship.

He took another sip of his drink when another one appeared in front of him. A man smiled at him when he looked up, and Richard couldn’t help the flush that covered his face.

He didn’t expect the flash of pain when he noticed the man had dimples.

~

Date -1

He hadn’t been back to the gallery since he broke up with Dean, but it was just as relaxing as it always was. He had missed the pictures, and after this last explosive fight with his father—the last fight with his father, now that he had been disowned—he needed them.

“Richard,” he heard, gasped out behind him. He saw Dean when he looked back, blue eyes wide and frozen to the spot. “What--what are you doing here?”

“I just--I missed the pictures,” he said, gesturing awkwardly, and Dean nodded.

“Okay.” He stood quietly for a minute before making a vague gesture behind him. “I should go. Some other people might want to talk to me.”

“I missed you, too.” He blurted out before he could think, and he winced when Dean stiffened. After a moment, Dean’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Why are you here, Rich?”

“Your pictures--” he started, wondering why Dean didn’t know and realized he had never told him. “Your pictures always make me feel calm. Happy.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and looked away, though he could feel Dean’s eyes on him. “It’s always been that way.” Dean nodded eventually, and it was clear he didn’t know what to say. Dean was about to leave, feet shuffling and turning away, and Richard knew this may be the last time he talked to him. “I really did miss you.”

Dean looked at him, looking so vulnerable, and Richard felt guilt tear through him for being the cause.

“I missed you too.”

~

Date 1

Richard tore his napkin into tiny pieces. It didn’t help with his nervousness, but at least it gave him something to do. His coffee sat next to him, untouched and getting colder by the minute, and his book lay unopened on the table. He had ordered ahead of time and brought his book in case Dean didn’t show. Dean hadn’t said he was coming, after all. He just said he’d think about it.

Still, even knowing that Dean probably wouldn’t come didn’t stop him from hoping. He managed to stop himself from looking up every time the bell over the door jingled, knowing he most likely looked a little pathetic. His napkin was completely torn up, and he had started ripping the pieces into even smaller portions when someone walked up next to him.

He looked up automatically, and he couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across his face when he saw Dean. The blond was fiddling with the strap of his camera bag, but he smiled back.


End file.
